Feb 03, 2013
For those who turn their nose up at garish prose, pinkness & rose petals...
Valentine's Day has a polarizing effect people.
For some, it's a day of planning the perfect romantic encounter. It's a day of floral prose and poetry, of chocolates and bouquets of roses. Almost everything is pink (purity) and red (passion).
For others it's a slap in the face; a reminder of that boy (or girl) who didn't return your "Be My Valentine" box card, in the fifth grade.
In other words, it's an annoying day of consumerism, inflated rose prices and babbling idiocy.
My recommendation: Buy your own wine and your own chocolate (if you even like the stuff) and settle in the for the night to watch zombie movies.
Some Anti-Valentine's Day Humour
"Love is a grave mental disease." ~Plato
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." ~Anon
"Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone." ~Lewis Black
"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." ~Sex in the City
What To Drink For Anti-Valentine's Day
Bold red wines that will pair with bittersweet chocolate steak, hamburgers or spicy chili, ribs or other messy finger foods. You're alone anyway so dive in, who cares if you get messy?
You need a wine that says I'm not messing around with a four-course meal, which includes a salad hobbled with cranberries, oysters, things poached in saffron and chocolate dipped strawberries.
Statement wines like the Apothic Red blend or Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel, from California.
Or my personal favourite label Curious Beasts Blood Red Wine. A new and trendy wrapped bottle from California. (right)
From Down Under, the Skulls Shiraz will put a crooked grin on your face as you peruse the label artwork.
Meanwhile the Vinaceous 'Raconteur' Cabernet will either bring back nasty memories or remind you why you may be flying solo on Valentine's Day night.
The ever-so-popular The Grinder Pinotage from South Africa will rock the stash of chocolate covered espresso beans you don't have to share.
No one to buy you a box of chocolates on this annoying day?
Buy your own.
The Chocolate Box Shiraz from Barossa Valley should do the trick (and it's less fattening too).
Needing therapy to combat the craziness of Valentine's Day? The solution is less expensive than you think.
The Therapy 'Alter~Ego' white blend from the Okanagan Valley, will have you feeling better in no time. Alternatively, easier to find, Blasted Church 'Hatfield's Fuse' will light a fire under you.
If you have a sweet tooth, the sister to the Apothic Red blend, the Apothic White blend from California might satisfy.
Perfect Pairings for whatever you indulge in... cheese, chocolate or cream sauces here
Truly, Madly, Deeply
If you're in the mood for chocolate and the dry red wines above don't float your boat, here's an oddity. VinoCacao Noir, a red wine from Bordeaux that is infused with chocolate. It will either turn you on, or completely off.
Finally, nothing says serious like Amarone.
These intense reds are made with partially dried grapes, which gives them an concentration like no other red wine. The Tommasi Amarone Della Valpolicella Classico is your gift, to yourself.
Pair it with dark chocolate, hard cheeses or rich slow cooked meats.
Have at it.
If you suddenly find yourself in love in time for Valentine's Day, you need to check this out
Have a Happy Anti~Valentine's Day.